Why I Write (#358)

Quickly pacing. Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot. Anxious. I found myself on the platform next to the train tracks. I memorized each crevice in the ground as I tried to work through my panic. The music in my headphones would not drown out my torturous thoughts. I trapped myself in my mind, determined to make myself feel awful in the process.

I have to stop, I told myself. My feet kept moving.

Just talk to someone, you’ll feel better. I was not very convincing.

The platform came to life as the scheduled train began to approach. I calmed down for the sake of my own embarrassment and took a seat on an empty bench. A deep breath in and a deep breath out. I had to do something. The incessant pacing was not helping and I was not about to spend my entire day anxiously walking in circles. I went back inside and cleared a space on my desk in my room. I unearthed a journal given to me and stared at the blank pages. I had used the journal a handful of times prior for half-baked thoughts and nonsensical ideas. I tore out the used pages and told myself I was starting fresh. I began to write.

At first, I was unsure who to address. Was I writing to myself in the future if I decided to read the entry again? Was I writing to the people I needed help from? My writing became a stream of consciousness. It became a brain dump onto the empty white pages that sat and stared back at me. I tried to write as quickly as the thoughts would enter my head. I journaled out of need. I wrote down the words that would acknowledge my feelings and I felt better.

Writing didn’t become a habit right away for me and it is still something I have to make time for. Writing in my journal and writing about gratitude bring me clarity. A daily journal and a daily blog to remind me of the treasures worth remembering. Not every day has been a miracle, far from it. The fact of the matter is, we must continue. We can stop at any time, breathe, and do what we must to go on living.

02.14.19

Today I’m Grateful For…

  1. Mornings with my cat, Ned
  2. Peanut butter
  3. Time at the gym to clear my head
  4. Clean water and texts from Cambodia
  5. A weekend to relax
  6. Cooking classes and learning new things
  7. Comfy pillows and warm blankets
  8. Shared anything
  9. When I can support and encourage my friends
  10. My Bridgewater blanket
  11. Teachers, Mentors, and Coaches
  12. Walks around Horn Pond with my Grandma
  13. The sound of birds outside my window
  14. Nights spent watching the stars
  15. The warmth of the summer sun
  16. The sound of rain and the impenetrable fog
  17. Patient reminders from the Universe
  18. Days I get to teach
  19. My Peer Mentors here at UMass
  20. My family
  21. The power of gratitude and a few deep breaths
  22. Late night ice cream
  23. Safe travels and good health
  24. Warm delicious tea
  25. The here and now

As always, check out my first blog 25 Things I’m Grateful For (#1) to know why I’m writing this list and why I want you to start yours.

If you’re interested in Guest Blogging for the Gratitude Journal, click (here)!

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Featured image of Anfield, a place of dreams

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Your Path Is Your Own (#357)

Go outside. Don’t tell anyone and don’t bring your phone. Start walking and keep walking until you no longer know the road like the palm of your hand, because we walk the same roads day in and day out, to the bus and back home and we cease to see. We walk in our sleep and teach our muscles to work without thinking and I dare you to walk where you have not yet walked and I dare you to notice. Don’t try to get anything out of it, because you won’t. Don’t try to make use of it, because you can’t. And that’s the point. Just walk, see, sit down if you like. And be. Just be, whatever you are with whatever you have, and realise that that is enough to be happy. 
There’s a whole world out there, right outside your window. You’d be a fool to miss it.

Charlotte Eriksson

02.22.19

Today I’m Grateful For…

  1. The end of a long week
  2. Facilitation practice
  3. A chance to finally relax
  4. Thoughtful expression
  5. A chance to journal and reflect
  6. Safe travels around the word
  7. Lessons learned
  8. Learning to let go
  9. Challenging professors
  10. My family and texts from home
  11. Time with my cat, Ned
  12. Sharing stories and pictures
  13. Clean water and morning tea
  14. The warmth of the summer sun
  15. Home cooked meals
  16. RHA and Chapter Wednesdays
  17. The Boyden Steps
  18. People who encourage and inspire
  19. A chance to help
  20. Singing in the car
  21. A clean apartment and a clear mind
  22. Sharing gratitude
  23. Walks through campus in the summer
  24. A couple deep breaths
  25. The here and now

As always, check out my first blog 25 Things I’m Grateful For (#1) to know why I’m writing this list and why I want you to start yours.

If you’re interested in Guest Blogging for the Gratitude Journal, click (here)!

Featured image from the BSU lake

Finding A Balance (#356)

I’ve come to learn that our world isn’t so black and white. It shouldn’t have to be all or nothing in every circumstance. Sometimes the answers we seek go beyond option A and option B. We need to find for ourselves a middle ground. A way to consider the needs of others and ourselves.

Life isn’t about all or nothing. Life is built on both patience & action, consistency & adaptability, life & death. These concepts of life don’t simply go beyond the mundane of our day to day. Balance needs to exist in all things. Sleep, work, play, it all needs to fit in the only 24 hours we have each day. Let gratitude help get you there. One day at a time.

02.20.19

Today I’m Grateful For…

  1. A warm cup of tea
  2. Walks through an empty campus
  3. Hanging out with my cat
  4. My supervisors, Adam and Danielle
  5. Time to journal
  6. Bedtime stretches
  7. My continued education
  8. Talking things out
  9. My family
  10. Naps after work
  11. The sound of rain while I sleep
  12. Summer grilling
  13. The bike trail in Northampton
  14. Classic movies
  15. Home cooking
  16. Snow days and cancelled classes
  17. Getting stuff done
  18. Good communication and good company
  19. Healthy living and constant progress
  20. Learning new things
  21. Teaching CORE at UMass
  22. Music you can dance to
  23. Sharing gratitude
  24. Comfy pillows and blankets
  25. The here and now

As always, check out my first blog 25 Things I’m Grateful For (#1) to know why I’m writing this list and why I want you to start yours.

If you’re interested in Guest Blogging for the Gratitude Journal, click (here)!

Featured image from Acadia

Start With A Breath (#355)

Whatever the challenge, no matter how difficult, remember to take your time. There’s nothing you are unequipped to handle. You are exactly where you should be.

Take a breathe. You’re doing great.

Sometimes the reminder is helpful. After a long day, remember you’ve done all you can. Tomorrow is a new day, a new opportunity to achieve your goals.

Just start with your breathe.

02.19.19

Today I’m Grateful For…

  1. Talking things out
  2. Seeing my mom and brother
  3. My cat, Ned
  4. Time at the gym
  5. My CORE students
  6. Feeling better
  7. Making the most of it
  8. Pick up soccer
  9. Sharing music suggestions from my PMs
  10. Safe travels
  11. Walks around the pond with my grandma
  12. Moments of learning
  13. Patient reminders
  14. Honest communication
  15. Getting stuff done
  16. Late night talks with my dad
  17. Clean water
  18. Texts from Cambodia
  19. My friend Riley for always checking in
  20. Sharing gratitude
  21. Late night ice cream with JV
  22. The warm summer sun
  23. Embracing change
  24. Trips to Big Y
  25. The precious present

As always, check out my first blog 25 Things I’m Grateful For (#1) to know why I’m writing this list and why I want you to start yours.

If you’re interested in Guest Blogging for the Gratitude Journal, click (here)!

Featured image of the imminent sunset.

Promise Yourself (#354)

“To be so strong that nothing
can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity
to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel
that there is something in them
To look at the sunny side of everything
and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best,
and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past
and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times
and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud words but great deeds.
To live in faith that the whole world is on your side
so long as you are true to the best that is in you.” 
― Christian D. Larson, Your Forces and How to Use Them

02.17.19

Today I’m Grateful For…

  1. Shared laughter
  2. Late night ice cream
  3. Game Of Thrones marathons
  4. Real running marathons
  5. Productive time
  6. Trips to Chipotle
  7. Hanging out with Ned
  8. A clean apartment
  9. Painted skies
  10. Time at the gym
  11. Handwritten notes and letters
  12. A moment to breathe
  13. Signs from the Universe
  14. A cool breeze on a warm day
  15. People who inspire
  16. Local bagels in the morning
  17. My family
  18. The little things
  19. Teachers, mentors, and coaches
  20. Basketball in the driveway
  21. Coming home
  22. Hot soup on a cold day
  23. A good book to read
  24. Lessons learned
  25. The here and now

As always, check out my first blog 25 Things I’m Grateful For (#1) to know why I’m writing this list and why I want you to start yours.

 

If you’re interested in Guest Blogging for the Gratitude Journal, click (here)!

Featured image from Judas Tree

The Work Starts Now (#353)

It’s important to recognize how far we’ve come. We can use gratitude when looking back at the adversities we overcome and the lesson’s we have learned. To get where we want to go, what we have done isn’t enough.

Success isn’t always about greatness. It’s about consistency. Consistent hard work leads to success. Greatness will come.

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

We must continue. We must keep fighting, keep moving towards our goals. Then we can use gratitude for what keeps us going.

02.15.19

Today I’m Grateful For…

  1. Meeting the vibrant sunrise with warm tea and my cat by my side
  2. Liverpool football games
  3. Quality time with JV
  4. A clean apartment is a clean mind
  5. Mentors, teachers, and coaches
  6. My family
  7. An opportunity to prove myself
  8. A good feeling
  9. Sharing gratitude with this community
  10. Late night ice cream
  11. Ezra Bell (here) on Spotify
  12. Routine and planning
  13. Peanut butter sandwiches
  14. Clean water and texts from Cambodia
  15. Reasons to celebrate
  16. A reminder of Spring
  17. Perfect descriptions
  18. Earth’s impossible moments of beauty
  19. What comes after the rain storm
  20. Time to be an introvert
  21. Calls from home
  22. Tools for my mental health
  23. Learning from mistakes
  24. A good book
  25. The precious, precious present

As always, check out my first blog 25 Things I’m Grateful For (#1) to know why I’m writing this list and why I want you to start yours.

If you’re interested in Guest Blogging for the Gratitude Journal, click (here)!

Forever missing the warm Cambodian sun.

Valentine’s Day (#352)

For many years, I was “alone” on Valentine’s Day. A Hallmark holiday that ultimately made me feel worse about my relationship status more than anything else. This year, a friend opened my eyes to a new perspective.

Valentine’s Day is about spreading love celebrating the heart. It’s not about if you’re dating anyone or going to the fanciest candlelight restaurant. The day is about gratitude for those you care about most. That’s something I can get behind.

02.14.19

Today I’m Grateful For…

  1. Store bought frosting
  2. Time to take care of my to-do list
  3. My classes and continued education
  4. Clean water and texts from Cambodia
  5. Catching the morning sunrise
  6. Hanging out with my cat, Ned
  7. My family
  8. The sound of the train passing in the night by my house
  9. Time at the gym
  10. Teachers, mentors, and coaches
  11. The upcoming weekend
  12. Practice, practice, and more practice
  13. Eating right and feeling good
  14. Working together to achieve something
  15. People who inspire
  16. The sound of birds chirping outside my window in the morning
  17. New learning
  18. Time to journal and reflect
  19. Summer grilling with my dad
  20. Ultimate frisbee friends
  21. Hanging out with my siblings in NY
  22. Safe travels and good health
  23. An opportunity to try
  24. Moments I can redefine myself
  25. The precious present

As always, check out my first blog 25 Things I’m Grateful For (#1) to know why I’m writing this list and why I want you to start yours.

If you’re interested in Guest Blogging for the Gratitude Journal, click (here)!

Classic picture of Ned